mrnetgear

Lose emotions will always float within me

Kategori: The so called life

Emotion is a powerfull weapon, it can be used to bring happines and love to the people around you. 
But it can also destroy your friendship and make you lose those who you once held tight to your heart.
Once you lose a friend, close or not, it is always hard to take them back, you might even lose them forever. 
An experience you never want to have. There is always one of the two person who will be hurt more than the other. 
But if the person don't want to have you as a friend, thats when it hurt the most. since you feel like you have been erased from their life. And you will always wonder, how would it be if things were different? 
unfortunately, you will never know, less, you will never meet or hear from that person again. 
 
I guess, that is how fate works, to make us lose the ones we loved and see were the destiny take us
Experience of this kind is never a good thing, especially when the one, was thought to be the soulmate. 

The destinys retaliation of my existence

Kategori: The so called life

I just  realised why my life is takeing the turns it does, it's because of the date I'm born. 
Since was born on the 14th of February I cannot experience true love. 
It has to be why my life is going the way it is. 
 
Another thing that has been bothering me is, who is reading all these?
I mean, I know a few but that doesn't cover all the people.
well, of all the people who is friend with me I know a few who isn't reading this, since it feels like I doesn't exist to them anylonger, it's like the connections just stopped and the next day, all the memories of me vanished. 
All I want is to be acknowledge and remembered by those who once new me. 
A simple task that required so little.
 
 

Too fast for me to comprehend

Kategori: The so called life

Thigns have gone way too fast this past weeks. The emotions that have been flowing threw me is something I usually experience within months and now, I don't know that to feel.
As always all the emotions and memories come back to me in musics

I have gone from something like this:
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jagBu2bqI7c
 
to this:
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q54MOToQ7Bs
 
It may not seemed like it but I actually have some strong emotions even if I really never showed them to anyone, atleast never emotions like these to any of my friends. 
Right now, I don't know what to believe or to rely on. All I can do right now is to believe the last past month never happened.
 
But that will never work since it is too many memories from all corners of the emotions we humans can experience, and I also feel that the connection to those who once were close to me will be erased, unless, I take the step of making the first contact. Which in my oppinion whows my weakness...
It happened once, it will happened this time too. 
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzH-4iH3JLo
 
Even music in an foreign language, can help one to bear with the pain. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

An infinite loop

Kategori: The so called life

 
Here I am, another sunday night waiting for the same routine as last time. School, work, school, work. An endless loop that will never go away or brake. This is how our lives look like, we do same bullshit week after week. Some might travel somewhere and think that they're weeks never look the same, but they are just delaying the inevitable. that they are sooner or later, going back to the boring routine they always had and will have for the rest of they're lives.
We might lose a friend or someone we love, but our destiny will never change
We might gaine friends or make things that change the world, but that was destined from the beginning, by fate.
We cannot tell, what our future will be unless we truly believe in ourself, and few can do that. 
I thought twice that I knew how my future would be like.
Once with a cute girl, living somewhere in town, never had, never will happen.
Once with, what I thought was my soulmate, we would be living in a big city, with her freind have a cat. 
never have, never will happen. 
I thought there fore one moment that this will be my future, my destiny.
Never have I been so wrong. Third times the charm they say. Better luck next time they say.
All I have to do is to see through the cloak and realise that there is something I'm doing wrong since I'm not the one breaking up.  All I can do right now is wondering over my place in the universe and thinking about my life.
 

My past, my present, my future

Kategori: The so called life

I have returned to my point of origin for some tourmenting words and depressing thoughts.
The past is the past, the future is my goal, and I don't like my past.
It's filled with hatred and sorrow from varies of angles 
But they say that if you truly want to know yourself, you have to look into your past and see what you have done
Your past is your shadow and your shadow holds your true self.
All lives are always different in some ways, therefore we cannot truly feel our friends pain and suffering.
My present is like a black hole, I have returned there once again and cannot drag myself out of it, not yet.
They say that time heal all wounds, well, time shure is taking it's time.
 

What really matters

Kategori: The so called life

Everything we hold close to our hearts, family, loveones, our dreams is worth fighting for, even if it means lots of pain and sacrifices to obtain our goal in life, it is damn worth it! If the goal is to far away, all you have to do is to take that extra jump, it may be risky but the results may be way over your expectations. If your goal isn't what you thought, and you may be stunned over what has happened you may cry, hell, you may even need to brake something and go into exile for some time. What does'nt kill you only makes you stronger is a well know sayings that has meaning and wisdom. To bad we take our friends, our loved ones, everything we have in our little lives for granted and can't see past all the bullshit and lies.

Our past, our future

Kategori: The so called life

The action that we do and make gives an opposite and equal reaction back to us, maybe its destined that some things have to happened or maybe we create and make our own destiny as we wish it to be like. All of the succesful things we make in life shows the rest of the world who we really are. But to show who we really are we also have to show all of our flaws and the pain we had to live with. none in this world is perfect and no-one can have a painless past.
 

The repeating cycle continues

Kategori: The so called life

Once again I'm sitting here alone with my music and my thoughts, doing useless things when I should be doing other things, like, be with friends or working. But when you don't have money, you can't go out. And when you don't know how to make you'r work, you end up doing nothing, all night. Well I got invited to hockey and that was really fun, but nothing else has been done today I'm afraid, got an offer by a friend but still don't know how that was going to work out since we are over 40 kilometers away from eachother. Oh well, let's continue this dreadfull night as it is and wait for what tomorrow have to offer.

My resources are running out

Kategori: The so called life

this is not good, every month I've to take money that I should'nt take from. But I have no fucking choice if I want to survive, and the fact that I'm playing games doesnt help one bit! I wish that I had a job and did'nt go to school, but apparently I have to do like my sisters and study to get a good job and earn a lot of money. Thats isn't a bad thing, but the way to get there is a pain in the fucking ass! Wish I could quit and work somewhere and all my problems, well, some of my problems would disappear. But for now, I'm stuck in this black hole.