Soon, im off to a new place, meet a new person, a friend, hopefully a girlfriend.
I've never done this before, go somewhere for just one person, maybe it is because I need to do something different for once. Maybe it is because I think that there is something between us two. The only problem, is the distance. But, if one really love another, the distance isn't an issue.
We do some impulsive actions once in a while, it could be to buy a car, or go somewhere you never visited before.
It can only end in two ways, good or bad. Which one it is, it is your choice and your experience that you gain from your actions. And if you're lucky, you get to do it again, or someone, something will pay you back for your efforts.
Today was an normal day, I haven't had one of those in a long time, it felt good, knowing that I could be normal again. Doing stuff without thinking about my past or my emotions, just be me for once.
And I've made new friends that I really wish to meet right away, but unfoutnately, they are living too far away to just drop by a weekend. But, soon enough I finally get to meet them, but I hope to meet them sooner than that, and for a longer time.
The weekend I hope I can be with some old friends from the past, it will be good to see an old, familiar face again instead of these four walls that surrounds me.
Hopefully I can move on and let it all go, do like you did, end this chapter and begin on a new one.
So, yesterday was not a bad day, a close friend of mine called to congratulate me and another friend which I've hadn't heard from a while contacted me and asked about our long-long dreamtrip to Miami.
That sure brought back memories. Other people and friends congratulated me.
I really wonder if that trip is ever gonna take off from the ground. It would really be nice to travel somewhere sometime. But, as it look like know, I don't know where I'll be within 2 years.
Maybe I stay in this town and work, maybe I move because I have too much history here and can't live with it.
One thing that I don't like about myself is that I always know my surroundings when I'm in town. If there is a person that is in town that I know, I definitely will see him/her. But they don't see me unless I make them see me.
There is a saying, that when you sneeze someone, somewhere is mention of you in either a good or bad way.
I don't know if this is true but lately I've been sneezing alot since the last 3 weeks.
There might be some conections or maybe I'm imagining things.
One side of me is wishing that it is true, because then there is something, someone out there who knows me.
And also, there is that time of the year again. When you can see who is your true friends amongst those who claims to be your friends. It will be interesting to see the results. I might already know some who will show a smile towards me and I know those who will not.
That is a shame because I really wish they still stay in touch, and eventually, be my friend once again.
That is unfortunate since we both live in the same town, so I guess it is my time to erase my past like none of it ever happened. That is also not easy since I'm the one holding the memories more than you did.
If only I wasn't so emotional of me and all of this would be so much easier.
But I'm not.
It was 3 weeks from tonight all of my emotional bursts happened and they continues to brake, whether if it is at home or amongst other people. My memories still haunts me and there is nothing I can do about it now.
I feel that you erased me from your mind, that I no longer exists in this world, just like the other one have done. And if I try to make an apperance, I'll be shut down like a spider on the wall,
I guess it is my time now to erase you from my mind.
We process over 1 000 000 thoughts every day, and there is always a handfull that sticks throughout the day. Maybe it is about what have ahppened during the day, maybe it is about that one person you saw in town. Maybe it is about your choices long ago, did you make the right ones or not. Maybe it is about you're place in the world, what if I was someone else.
Maybe it is about the ones you miss, can you ever hear from them, or meet them.
All these thougths always passes my mind everyday, and so far, I haven't had an answer to neither of them.
And I also think that they never will have an answer.
