mrnetgear

Me, myself and I, against you

Kategori: The darkness within

I look at my phone, I was the last one to send a message.
Was it something I said? something I did?
How can I know, we have never even met.
I ask from time to time when we used to talk
But you were busy, tired or something in between
 
You, like many others, just stop responding 
Like an atom in a black hole, like i never existed 
I see you sometimes from a distance
Too afraid to call out to you
You are probably better off without me
You already have friends
I don't
You have loving friends 
I don't 
Why would you need me

Frustration and disappointment

Kategori: The darkness within

Depression and anger is two feelings I never can live without, they always find their way back to make me suffer.
It doesn't matter if it was five years ago och within five years ahead, those two will always haunt me to make sure 
I'm never truly happy. 
Something is gonna break soon enough.
 
In a few months I hope I can change all this to the better.

The knowledge of me you let erase

Kategori: The darkness within

I saw her today, no matter what I tried; I couldn’t stop my heart from beating faster.
Of course she didn’t see me, she never does, unless I said hi, but I believe that even that doesn’t make me more noticeable.
I have told myself that I no longer shall do this to myself,
The past is the past, and the present if where I should be.
But between you and me, I’m still in the past.

Pray to your God, open your heart
Whatever you do, be afraid of the dark
Cover you eye’s the devil is inside.
One day I will give revenge.
That night I will remember.
One day it will all change.
Honest to god I will break your heart
Tear you to pieces and rip you apart.
 

The voice in my head

Kategori: The darkness within

Yet again I'm back to my black hole, letting time pass away 
When will something change it to make life interesting 
The path is inevitable in the end, you only prolong it
The darkness feels to be my true friend in times like these, when you are alone, thinking about your past, your memories. What you had, what you wish you still had. 
But, now they are just memories, memories that I only can forget, just like you did.
It is not easy, it is never easy to forget.
Everywhere I might go, something triggers my memories and I become sad and depressed.
It is never easy 
 
I feel that my emotions still isn't in balance, more anger need to be released somehow.
"Someone save me from my self"
fits pretty well, 
I have long wonder about how much destructiveness I can bring.
Whether in a fight or to an object, it doesnt matter.
It has to go, soon or something within me snaps and I cannot be responsible by my actions 
When that happens, not only anger will leave, but sorrow , depression hopefully will leave aswell.
Maybe I need to visit a peacefull place and start meditate, to release my chakra flow 
Perhaps there is where my problem is. 
Who know.