mrnetgear

Friends come and goes

Kategori: The so called life

It is always fun to meet old friends again, it feels good inside to know that they have not forgot about you.
It is akways a bit weird when you see and old friend that doesn't recognize you.
Even with direct eyecontact she doesnt know who you are.
Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't, what do I know. 

From one chapter to another

Kategori: The so called life

The weekend I hope I can be with some old friends from the past, it will be good to see an old, familiar face again instead of these four walls that surrounds me. 
Hopefully I can move on and let it all go, do like you did, end this chapter and begin on a new one.
 

One place where all memories and thoughts are connected

Kategori: Allmänt

Everyone have a place where we sitt and look over everybody else when they walk past.
We sitt there and think about our lives, where it has been, where it is, and where we hope it will take us.
A bench, a rooftop, a café or a tree, there is always a spot for everyone who wish to visit themselfs for a while. 
A choice, a feeling, an idea of some sort is all that needs to make you sitt there for an hour or two.
Unfortunate for me, I have not found my spot yet.

The experiment part 6

Kategori: the experiment part one

Brian started to wonder about what he was supposed to find here, as long as he could see, it was just another long coridor but with bloodstained walls. He kept on walking forward, looking back once in a while, checking noone would sneak up on him. Suddenly, he heard a sound, Brian freezed, didn't dare to move or they would find him. 
He listened closely, it started to sound more like of a munching sound than something else. Brian walked as slowly as he could to the end of the corridor to check what was making the sound. Brian leaned over the corner,
he frooze again, he could'nt believe what he saw, some kind of wolf, but it was bigger then ordinary wolfs.
Also, it have brown fur and a big mane. he didn't see its face, he don't want to either. The beast was eating some corpses.
"So thats what happend to all the bodies" he thought.
He could'nt stop starring at it while it was feasting on the bodies, ripping of arms and heads like it was sticks.
"I have to find a way out of here or else I will become meal for that beast"
He looked around to see if there was any way around that thing, there wasnt any way around as far as Brian could see. But there was an airvent that might work, 
"If I can find where to get in and hopefully i can crawl over that thing, and get out of here"
Brian looked back to find the airvent, it was a little behind him, he opened it slowly so it woulnd't make any noise. He looked inside, it was all dirty and full och filth.
"Better then that thing" he thought.
Once he got in he starte to crawl upwards, Brian hadn't noticed the airvents before, they go in more ways then the corridors did. He started to crawl on his stomach, try to not making any sounds whatsoever. It was dirty, he didn't like it. Al the dust was making it harder to breath without coughing. 
He was listening about if the beast had moved or not, it sounded like it has fallen asleep after eating all of those corpses. he had found a place to get out from the vents, he gently pushed the airvents fence and grabbed it before it hit the floor, genlty put it down. He stuck his head out slowly to see where that wolf beast was, but he could'nt see it. Brian looked the other way and saw another elevator.
Brian was relieved to see it so he could get out of this place and away from that beast. 
Brian crawled out making sure not to make any noise. 
"Well, that wasn't so difficult, now about that elevator" 
There wasn't any blood in this part of the corridor, so he started to walk towards the elevator.
He hit the button to call the elevator.
A big pling sound ranged throughout the corridor.
Brian freezed again, panicked and hoped that the monster didn't heard that
There was a big roar that echoed through the coridor.
Brian was scared, really frightening. He had nothing he could to than wait for the elevator and hope it would arrive faster than the beast would. 
He heard big fotstep, he leaned against the elevator doors, pressing the button in panick.
He saw something coming at the end of the corridor, it was the beast.
"Fuck" Brians mind screamed in terror. "What the fuck am I suppose to do now?!" 
The beast had seen Brian and started go walk towards him. 
Brian could see it face, it really looked like a wolf, but it was so much bigger, bigger fangs, bitter claws.
It was drooling from the side of it's mouth, and was ready to attack Brian. 
"Where the fuck is that elevator!!" 
The beast had started to run at full speed against Brian.
His mind went blank. 
"Fuck"
 
 
 

The knowledge of me you let erase

Kategori: The darkness within

I saw her today, no matter what I tried; I couldn’t stop my heart from beating faster.
Of course she didn’t see me, she never does, unless I said hi, but I believe that even that doesn’t make me more noticeable.
I have told myself that I no longer shall do this to myself,
The past is the past, and the present if where I should be.
But between you and me, I’m still in the past.

Pray to your God, open your heart
Whatever you do, be afraid of the dark
Cover you eye’s the devil is inside.
One day I will give revenge.
That night I will remember.
One day it will all change.
Honest to god I will break your heart
Tear you to pieces and rip you apart.
 

The full moon is approaching

Kategori: Allmänt

The full moon is back once again, I can't stop looking and think about how beatifull the moon is on a winternight with a cloud free nightsky. Just sitting on a rooftop with someone, holding eachother and gaze upon it's beauty and the stars surrounding it. 

Sequuntur somnia

Kategori: The so called life

Nightmares, the one place we wish to never live trough and try to avoid.
Nightmares try to make us lose ourselves, to drive our inner anger to the outside world.
They show our true fears and how our lives would be otherwise. 
It is never easy, it is never pleasant, we are always alone in our nightmares.
Hopefully, nightmares will never become reality.

Something simple as our number

Kategori: Allmänt

We all age more and more by each year and put on one more number on our clock.
But our age is just a number, that often is being measured by time.
But it is just a simple number that control us far too much.
What if we didn't use that number,
How would that affect us then? 
What would we be without our number?

Nothing but dreams in the black sky

Kategori: Allmänt

Noticed that it's a cloud-free sky tonight. 
I have always wanted to lay down on a field during a warm sommernight, alone or with friends, and just lay there looking up and watch the stars and the moon. 
Just glare att how beatiful and amazing they can be, watching them move above my head and look for a shooting star somewhere in the distance.

The experiment part 5

Kategori: the experiment part one

The blue light leading Brian on the floor kept going left and right, it seemed to go on forever. 
"I wonder what she meant with I will find something interesting?"
"I wonder who the rebels are too?"
He ketp on running, left and right, right and left, eventually, there was a stop, the elevator.
"Finally, I found it"
There was only one button on the side, he pussed it and a little buss sound echoed through the long, endless corridor. The doors slide open, th"e elevator was as white as the corridor. He stepped inside and looked at the panel.
"hmm, top floor she said" Brian looked up on the red light on top of the door to see which floor he was on. 
17 it glowed bloodred. 
"17 huh, but there is only up to 2 here, guess thats as high as I go" He pussed the number 2 
"Going for 2nd floor, please standby" A smooth voice said. 
"Hmph elegant but unnecessery" Brian muttered for himself.
It took a while for the elevator to go all the way to 2nd floor, but when the doors opened Brian wasn't prepared for what he saw. It was just a normal corridor but it was bloodstains all over the walls, even some in the ceiling. 
Brian was shocked, he didn't move out from the elevator because he didn't know who or what that have done all this. But there was no bodies anywhere, "where is the bodies?" he muttered 
There was no sound going in the corridor at all, nothing. Brian didn't know what to do next, all that went through his mind was to get to the elevator, nothing more. 
"I have to get out of here, now" 
He leaned out of the elevator to see if there was anything around it, nothing, just more blood. 
Still no sound. He stepped out carefully and started to walk along with the corridor, Brian was looking around to see if he saw any bodies, but there were'nt any. 
He started to wonder why VICI is helping him, isn't she suppose to tell security about his escape or something instead. Whatever the case, he didn't bother to think about it anymore, as long he get out of this place, he would be happy. 
 

So simple, so easy

Kategori: The so called life

A simple card that say more than any of the gestures that have been done
 

Yesterday and memories

Kategori: The so called life

So, yesterday was not a bad day, a close friend of mine called to congratulate me and another friend which I've hadn't heard from a while contacted me and asked about our long-long dreamtrip to Miami.
That sure brought back memories. Other people and friends congratulated me.
I really wonder if that trip is ever gonna take off from the ground. It would really be nice to travel somewhere sometime. But, as it look like know, I don't know where I'll be within 2 years.
Maybe I stay in this town and work, maybe I move because I have too much history here and can't live with it. 
 
One thing that I don't like about myself is that I always know my surroundings when I'm in town. If there is a person that is in town that I know, I definitely will see him/her. But they don't see me unless I make them see me. 
 

Times like these

Kategori: Poems from our hearts

It is times like these I find love again.
It is times like these I learn to live again.
It is times I give and give again.
It is times like these we love again.
It is times like these we live again.
It is times like these I learned love is lost again.
It is times like these I learned to live again.
It is times like these time goes on and on again. 

It is time

Kategori: The so called life

 
There is a saying, that when you sneeze someone, somewhere is mention of you in either a good or bad way.
I don't know if this is true but lately I've been sneezing alot since the last 3 weeks. 
There might be some conections or maybe I'm imagining things.
One side of me is wishing that it is true, because then there is something, someone out there who knows me.
And also, there is that time of the year again. When you can see who is your true friends amongst those who claims to be your friends. It will be interesting to see the results. I might already know some who will show a smile towards me and I know those who will not.
That is a shame because I really wish they still stay in touch, and eventually, be my friend once again.
 
 
 

From me to you who want it

Kategori: Poems from our hearts

The losses we have in our lifes is just as big as our victories.
What we make in our present cannot change our past, but our future.
What path we go change our destiny.
When we lose someone, we lose them for good.
When we win someone, we win them temporarily.
There is no garantie that our life will be easy.
Our lifes is going to be harsh and painfull.
Few things can help us ease the pain we bare.
When the painfull memories is forgotten.
Yor sight, your friends and your imagination.
Will make sure. 
That you never forget.
The pain you had.
will always stay with you.
Forever.

It is easier to forget than stay in touch.

Kategori: The so called life

It is easier to forget than to stay in touch. 
That is unfortunate since we both live in the same town, so I guess it is my time to erase my past like none of it ever happened. That is also not easy since I'm the one holding the memories more than you did. 
If only I wasn't so emotional of me and all of this would be so much easier.
But I'm not.
It was 3 weeks from tonight all of my emotional bursts happened and they continues to brake, whether if it is at home or amongst other people. My memories still haunts me and there is nothing I can do about it now. 
I feel that you erased me from your mind, that I no longer exists in this world, just like the other one have done. And if I try to make an apperance, I'll be shut down like a spider on the wall,
I guess it is my time now to erase you from my mind.
 
Goodbye.
 

The voice in my head

Kategori: The darkness within

Yet again I'm back to my black hole, letting time pass away 
When will something change it to make life interesting 
The path is inevitable in the end, you only prolong it
The darkness feels to be my true friend in times like these, when you are alone, thinking about your past, your memories. What you had, what you wish you still had. 
But, now they are just memories, memories that I only can forget, just like you did.
It is not easy, it is never easy to forget.
Everywhere I might go, something triggers my memories and I become sad and depressed.
It is never easy 
 
I feel that my emotions still isn't in balance, more anger need to be released somehow.
"Someone save me from my self"
fits pretty well, 
I have long wonder about how much destructiveness I can bring.
Whether in a fight or to an object, it doesnt matter.
It has to go, soon or something within me snaps and I cannot be responsible by my actions 
When that happens, not only anger will leave, but sorrow , depression hopefully will leave aswell.
Maybe I need to visit a peacefull place and start meditate, to release my chakra flow 
Perhaps there is where my problem is. 
Who know.

My heart to you

Kategori: Poems from our hearts

My heart to you

my life was perfect, it was sweet

I had you in my heart and soul

I saw our future from the front seat

 

but that day came,

something felt wrong

that day we all fear

i thought i could be strong

 

my life isnt perfect, it isnt sweet anymore

since you left me by that tree

I think im illusion things

cause I see you by every blink

your face is in my mind

i cant get you out of my head

 

my life was black and white

you came like a rainbow

filling me with feelings

feelings i never felt before

I was truly happy with you by my side

I really thought you where the one

 

but now, they are only memories

the memories is all I have left of you

 

my life isnt perfect it isnt sweet anymore

since you left me by that tree

I think Im illusion things

cause I see you by every blink

your face is in my mind

I can't get you out of my head

 

you no longer know me

but I will always remember you

and you will always have a place in my heart

but it is time for me to move on

and follow my destiny,

a different path

 

 

Amissus amore

Kategori: Poems from our hearts

Be my friend 
Even if you pretend  you don't know me
Stand by me
I know you already realized it
I'll try getting closer to you now
It feels like I could reach your hand
 
Everyday is a roller coaster, wilder than you can imagine
Laughing and crying, facing forward
And always running straight ahead
It feels like something happens, but that's the end
That is how our lives go
Those moments are all we have
So let's burn it into our memories
Be my friend 
Stand by me
But even if I want to be more then that
One more step
I'll reach out as many times as I need to
 

The experiment part 4

Kategori: the experiment part one

"It all began around 44 years ago. A team of scientist found something we today call the void resonance, which is a sort of transport through another dimension. It is said that you can travel to this other dimension called Nova Ratio.
None has been able to get to Nova Ratio but there is one man who is determined to make it. 
Morgan Rabidus, he has been on this project since 10 years back. He is confident that he can make a stable portal and make it through.
"what on the other side?" Brian asked
"noone knows, but Morgan believes it is somekind of weapon that can be used to take over the world
"Is that his intetnion?" 
"Yes"
"Then why doesn't anyone stopp him?" 
The goverment has tried countless times, but for some reason they stopped the assult against this place"
"What exaclty is this place?"
"This, this is Castru, the biggest science research lab in this world. We are in block 3F which is the void research centre. Here they work on how to create a portal to Nova, and to make what they call Nova soldiers. 
"Is that what I am? A soldier."
"Not really, you see, you are an experiment, Morgan didn't settle with just ordinary soldiers, he wanted some kind of super soldiers that could help him win the war. He wanted more power, so he used the strange power coming from the void resonance and fused it with humans. Apparently, humans that has the void resonance can pull out other peoples souls and convert it to a powerfull weapon."

"So, I'm something that has been brought forth in a lab?"

"No, you were taken from a city not too far from here called Ioncity, sadly, that city was destroyed a few days ago.

"Did I have any family or friends?"

"Perhaps, I don't know"

Brian started to think about if he really had a family to go back to, but he could'nt remember anything.

Maybe he didn't have to mourn someone that he didn't remember.

"How do I get out of here?" he asked with a serious face.

"There is an elevator not far from here, it should take you...

A big rumble echoed trhough the endless corridor and multiple explosions.

"What was taht?!" 

"Huh, sounds like the rebels finally made it through" VICI said smiling.

"I will highlight the path to the elevator for you, go to the top floor and you should find something interesting there" She winked her left eye at Brian and smiled again.

"Just one thing before you leave" Brian said, where can I find some clothes? Don't want to wear this robe anymore. 

"Really? I think it suites you" She was smiling at Brian again. She did something that made a panel on Brians right to slide open, there was some ordinary clothes there that Brian thought suiteable. 

"Now, you better hurry Brian" VICI said happily.

"Thank you, for your help" Brian said while running away through the highlighted corridors.

"Hmm, this sure is gonna be interesting" VICI said while she was fading away in the corridor.

The mist of perception

Kategori: The so called life

We process over 1 000 000 thoughts every day, and there is always a handfull that sticks throughout the day.
Maybe it is about what have ahppened  during the day, maybe it is about that one person you saw in town.
Maybe it is about your choices long ago, did you make the right ones or not. 
Maybe it is about you're place in the world, what if I was someone else.
Maybe it is about the ones you miss, can you ever hear from them, or meet them.
All these thougths always passes my mind everyday, and so far, I haven't had an answer to neither of them. 
And I also think that they never will have an answer. 

Lose emotions will always float within me

Kategori: The so called life

Emotion is a powerfull weapon, it can be used to bring happines and love to the people around you. 
But it can also destroy your friendship and make you lose those who you once held tight to your heart.
Once you lose a friend, close or not, it is always hard to take them back, you might even lose them forever. 
An experience you never want to have. There is always one of the two person who will be hurt more than the other. 
But if the person don't want to have you as a friend, thats when it hurt the most. since you feel like you have been erased from their life. And you will always wonder, how would it be if things were different? 
unfortunately, you will never know, less, you will never meet or hear from that person again. 
 
I guess, that is how fate works, to make us lose the ones we loved and see were the destiny take us
Experience of this kind is never a good thing, especially when the one, was thought to be the soulmate. 

The destinys retaliation of my existence

Kategori: The so called life

I just  realised why my life is takeing the turns it does, it's because of the date I'm born. 
Since was born on the 14th of February I cannot experience true love. 
It has to be why my life is going the way it is. 
 
Another thing that has been bothering me is, who is reading all these?
I mean, I know a few but that doesn't cover all the people.
well, of all the people who is friend with me I know a few who isn't reading this, since it feels like I doesn't exist to them anylonger, it's like the connections just stopped and the next day, all the memories of me vanished. 
All I want is to be acknowledge and remembered by those who once new me. 
A simple task that required so little.